When circumstances deal you unexpected blows, it’s easy to get upset and say, “Why me? What did I do to deserve this?” You might be tempted to deny the reality of your challenge because it seems too hard to face. Or you could get angry at the unfairness of it and lash out at others in frustration.
But that’s the way life is. Bad things can happen that are beyond your control. In those moments, you have a choice. You can accept the situation for what it is and figure out how to deal with it.
Or you can refuse to believe it.
When this kind of thing happens to you, move to a place of acceptance as quickly as you can. That doesn’t mean you have to like it. It means that you acknowledge what’s really happening.
Taking this approach will help you calm down. Instead of fighting the problem, you’ll think more clearly about solutions. You’ll come up with ways to get through it successfully. And what initially seemed terrible can actually lead you to a better place than you imagined.
What wise people have had to say about acceptance...
- "The successful people of this world take life as it comes. They just go out and deal with the world as it is." - Ben Stein, American author (1947- )
- "I accept reality and dare not question it." - Walt Whitman, American poet (1819-1892)
- “It is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.” - Carl Sagan, American astronomer (1934-1996)
- “Men stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened.” - Winston Churchill, British prime minister (1874-1965)
- "People who shut their eyes to reality simply invite their own destruction." - James Baldwin, American novelist (1924-1987)
- "Realists do not fear the results of their study." - Feodor Dostoyevsky, Russian novelist (1821-1881)
- "Take things as they are." - Bruce Lee, Chinese actor (1940-1973)
- "Peace of mind is that mental condition in which you have accepted the worst." - Lin Yutang, Chinese author (1895-1976)
- "Accepting does not necessarily mean 'liking,' 'enjoying,' or 'condoning.' I can accept what is—and be determined to evolve from there. It is not acceptance but denial that leaves me stuck." - Nathaniel Branden, American psychologist (1930- )
- “Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end.” - Henry Miller, American novelist (1891-1980)
Take reality by the hand, and she will guide you.
Post by Dennis E. Coates, Ph.D., Copyright 2010. Building Personal Strength . (License to use photo purchased from istockphoto.com)