Tuesday, October 25, 2011

A Sexy Way of Walking - What Does It Mean?

Today I was thinking about an incident that occurred some time ago. I was in a crowd of people. I can't remember the venue. Maybe it was an outdoor wine tasting or an arts and crafts show. Sometimes my wife's curiosity is attracted to things I'm not interested in and she sometimes lingers longer. So occasionally we drift apart at these events.

Anyway, I overheard a woman behind me make this comment: "Look at her, the way she swings her hips, putting on a show for the men!"

I looked up to see what the fuss was about. To my surprise, I saw my wife walking away from me. I took an admiring look at her legs and yes, there was a unique animation to the way she walked.

I turned to face the woman who made the remark. When she made eye contact with me I said, "She's not trying to be sexy. She has scoliosis, a curvature of the spine. It causes her to walk that way."

The woman drew in a quick breath. She frowned at me and said, "How do you know?"

"She's my wife," I said with a friendly smile.

I think I remember the incident because it's an example of how some people automatically interpret the world around them in the most negative way.

I sometimes put a dark gloss on things myself. But why be mean-spirited? Why put people down? Does it somehow make them feel better about themselves? I don't think so. In the end, at some level they know deep inside that they're the kind of people who think mean thoughts and say mean things.

Why not a little compassion? A little tolerance? A little open-mindedness?

I guess that's why these behavior patterns are considered personal strengths. It's easier to release a little anger with a nasty remark than it is to withhold judgment and give others the benefit of the doubt.

Post by Dennis E. Coates, Ph.D., Copyright 2011. Building Personal Strength . (Permission to use image purchased from fotolia.com)

1 comment:

Kathleen Scott said...

Denny, that's too funny. You never told me.